Victimhood 5 Min Transcript
Curt Dalton (00:00)
Hey everybody, this is Curt here with maya4life.com and we're going first class tonight, suits only, just to talk to the parents. One of things I wanted to bring up and I get asked is what is the number one concern I have being a father of three to protect my children against? And remember parents job is not to control your children but to first and foremost protect them and second to guide them. And as some of you know a little bit about me you would probably think the next thing I'm going to say is cannabis.
having edited over 6,000 cannabis-based articles and published them. I'm pretty familiar with that subject. Or you'll say, well, I saw your video about insidious drug being alcohol because alcohol comes in through the front door with parents blessings and the kids see role modeling with alcohol. Now those are both drugs, but by far, if I had to break down and I could only give one lesson in the maya4life.com courses, it is for parents to be aware of their kids becoming victims. Victimhood is by far the number one fire extinguisher, red light, warning sign. When I hear my kids talk about it's someone else's fault, the coaches, the teachers, eventually if you let your child be a victim, then they have no shot at happiness. They do not control their future happiness or their future life and it will always be someone else's fault.
And this, because it's always someone else's fault, will lead to a feeling of helplessness and it will drive them to things like drinking alcohol, doing drugs, overeating, if it's going to be an eating type addiction or possible retail therapy, addiction to buying things that make themselves feel better. Because they'll never control their happiness, they'll look for other things to either numb that pain or find happiness, like food, like alcohol, like shopping, like
fill in the blank, even excessive working out. So the number one thing you need to be on guard for by far is the wording your kids use and how they describe situations. Are they the object of the verb when they're speaking or the subject of the verb? Is it always the teacher's fault or a friend's fault? Because later in life, it's going to be your fault. They're going to blame you later in life for my mom never did this. My dad wasn't good at that. And then it's going to be their boss's fault and every boss they ever worked for.
And then it's going to be their future husband or wife's fault why they're unhappy or why their life is miserable. When you give up the power of your own happiness, you look to be a victim. Victims can never be happy in life. It takes away all your ability to create internal validation and be happy from the inside. So if you really want to have one thing you remember.
And how do I get my kids from abusing alcohol or drugs or overeating or retail therapy or whatever is coming down the road to make them feel whole? Tell them that they can be whole just by themselves. They're responsible for their own happiness. They are 100 % responsible for their future. And that is a gift, not a curse. And that take responsibility in situations that you played a role. Even if it is 60, 40 the other way or someone else might be more at fault.
Knowing that you played a role in it, whether it's enabling or what was your part in it. So if someone or my kid comes up to me and says, well, this teacher just did it wrong or this coach doesn't know what he's doing. I'll say, okay, maybe that is true. I don't want to invalidate what you're seeing, but what's your role in it? What did you do to get to that point where you're frustrated? What could you have done differently? And teaching them that it's their responsibility for happiness and that being a victim will only lead down a rabbit hole of problems in life, not only their personal lives, but their professional lives. And it's going to come back and bite you in the butt as a parent when they go to therapy in their 30s or 40s or talk to their future husbands, wives, and blame you for their relationship problems. So be on guard, subject or object of sentences. Are they always blaming someone? Are they never taking responsibility? And say, well, what role did you play in that? Even if the coach was wrong or the teachers are jerk or your friend did X, Y, and Z, what was your role for that person to get to that point and start to teach them that you're responsible for your own feelings, your own happiness, and how you respond to people. So victimhood, I put as the most serious threat and the number one thing, even about drugs and alcohol, because those are sometimes symptoms of victimhood. And if they have a lot of self-confidence and internal validation, they really won't go to those other things looking for happiness or to numb that pain of not being whole. Go to Maya4Life.com for more info. Thanks.
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